I was once told that doing a long term exchange is one of the worst things you can do to yourself socially. During my 10th grade year, I had a good group of friends and I was really happy with them, we would occasionally hang out, have a good time. Then, last year, I took a bunch of extra classes so I could graduate early, and being Annie, I took all advanced classes, I quit marching band (yeah, I was in marching band), and I wanted good grades, so I didn't have a lot of time to spend with my friends (previously band was my social life). Also, my friends were in 11th grade classes whereas most of my classes were 12th grade classes, so I only got to be with them for a few courses. I can easily say that I distanced myself from my friends last year, partly because I was busy, and also partly because I knew I was leaving, both of which I'm now regretting doing.
Today while I was on Facebook, I realized once again how life is continuing to go on back home without me. All of my friends have now been accepted to college, and are looking forward to prom and graduation, and then finally going off to college and starting their lives as young adults. I'm proud of all my friends, especially because some of them got into really nice programs, but it's just really hard for me to realize that this is all happening without me. I wish I could be sharing these happy times with my friends, but the time zones and miles between us make that rather difficult.
I have absolutely no regrets of coming to Turkey, but some days I go on Facebook, see how happy everyone is back home, and just wonder what my life would be like if I didn't go on exchange. I think my life would be pretty similar to how my friends' are going; happily looking forward to graduation and college, and trying to make the best out of my senior year. Although I can guess what my life would be like now, I think that my life 10 years from now will be completely different than the life I would have had if I never became an exchange student.
I guess I'm just trying to say is that being an exchange student isn't always easy. The hard part is over; I sort of have a social life, and I can pretty much get by in the language, butI know saying goodbye will probably be the hardest thing I do all year. It's hard now knowing that life is going on without me back home, but it's even harder knowing that when I return home, nothing will have changed about the home I left, whereas my life will have been changed forever.
I never experienced what you are going through, but reading your words gives me a glimpse.
ReplyDeleteI can add this, however, I always found myself envious of those who took the leap and participated in a long term exchange. Feeling like I have missed out...I read and I write and I see the world in photographs.
Personally, experiences like yours begin to show us our humanity. I guess I find myself envious again!
"I could be bounded in a nutshell and call myself king of infinite space." -Hamlet
Annie, your exchange will give you an entirely new perspective. I suspect that you will come home and see that nothing has changed, and that everything has changed. By going on exchange you simply sped-up the process of leaving your old friends, making new friends, and keeping in touch with the real ones.
ReplyDeleteDaddy! You put that perfectly, how I'll come home everything will be the same, and completely different at the same time. I couldn't think of that when I was writing at like 1AM. Love you guys :)
DeleteAnnie, welcome to growing up. Every day you will make decisions. Some you will know for sure were the right ones. Other decisions will become obvious that you made the wrong one and then there will be those decisions that you always question. Yes, life goes on and changes no matter where you are. Life is even changing for your friends here (and even for Dad and me). Follow your heart always...you can't go wrong. I love you and I am so very proud of you.
ReplyDeleteAnnie! Your parents are right, and how proud they must be of you! I think you hit the nail on the head with your comments about "10 years from now." the thing is, while we are all a bit envious of you exchange students... We are also impressed, not because what you are doing is so cool and exotic (which it is) but also because we can see you've given up something to make it happen. So wonderful. And I'm so thankful for your "slice of life"! (& that's not a comment on my dd Emma!)... Miriam
ReplyDeleteAnnie is there a way I can like this. :D
ReplyDeleteShare it on Facebook! Haha, that's not necessary, but I think you definitely are having some of the same experiences. It's so hard to explain to a non exchange student!
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